If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
