her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
