He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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