There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
