Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize