I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
