She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize