Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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