Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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