Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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