My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
