yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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