Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize