O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
