i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
