its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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