hell yes lets make some ravioli
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
