I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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