Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
