So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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