Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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