Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize