smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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