Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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