Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
