belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
