I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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