VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
