i just wanna soil my oats bro
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
