don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
