3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
