Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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