I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize