thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
