i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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