Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dignity is for republicans.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
