STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
