did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
