when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think my vagina is haunted
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
