so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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