i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize