It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
