I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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