My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
