She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
