and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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