He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
