I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
