I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
