Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
