It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
