you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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