ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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