I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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