I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
