so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
