How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
