trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
