doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
