I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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